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I Learned to Trust Myself

1 January 2019
Hila Cohen

As I approach the completion of three years in my current position, summarizing this intense period proves challenging, especially when attempting to encapsulate its profound meaning.

Typically, my writing focuses on professional articles across various fields, but this time, I delve into a more personal narrative—sharing reflections that often remain confined to a drawer.

While crafting this piece, I recognize its potential to shed light on my journey for myself and others. Thus, I embrace the sentiment, aiming to convey the significance gleaned from three years in the role that holds the utmost importance in my professional life.

Daily reflections on the road traveled, lessons learned, and the individuals who accompanied me often elude my thoughts. Only during moments like these, when I pause to write and summarize, can I reflect on my achievements and personal growth.

The outset of my current workplace marked a familiar apprehension: "When will they find out? When will they realize I'm not what they were looking for?" Adjusting to a new environment is inherently challenging, encompassing routine shifts, social dynamics, and work methods. Amidst the novelty, insecurity loomed large—I questioned my capabilities, knowledge, and interactions.

Despite my wealth of experience, I grappled with self-doubt. Colleagues offered support, advice, and encouragement, urging patience in my adaptation. Yet, being kind to myself felt like an unconventional directive. Was I not already kind to myself? It required a shift in perspective. I contemplated how to measure up to predecessors and colleagues, grappling with the realization that emulation was unrealistic.

I sought external validation for a while, accustomed to following directives and relying on compliments for guidance. Over time, I discovered the power of trusting my intuition and understanding what suits me.

Several years later, I confidently affirm that not only did they not find out, but I also discovered my reliability. This transformation unfolded through self-comparison, understanding my uniqueness, and embracing my strengths to navigate my distinct path.

Believing in my ability to connect, learn, and manage, I faced challenges head-on, turning seemingly impossible situations into empowering and instructive experiences. The support of those around me became a cornerstone, contributing to my personal and professional growth.

I adopted the practice of setting small goals and recognizing the importance of defining and achieving them. Learning to ask for guidance when needed, making immediate decisions, cultivating creativity, understanding the absence of shortcuts, and transcending circumstances became essential lessons.

This period remains profoundly significant, allowing me to grow in new directions. While the journey continues, I am confident I am on the right path—I trust myself.

A hand pressing a trust button
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